The taxi crawled through the late afternoon traffic, and I checked the time again. The cosplay wrestling event was starting soon, and I still had to eat before I could go in. I had stayed up until six in the morning preparing, and now I was running later than I wanted. “Just drop me off at the butcher shop up ahead,” I told the driver.
“It’s on the way. ”
He nodded and merged into the right lane. I watched the streets roll by, thinking about the day ahead. This event mattered.
I wanted to give the seniors watching a good show, especially the ones who had supported me. We had less than a week left before the big day, and I still had to ask one of the senior streamers carefully if he would be free to join. I had been meaning to check with him all week. The car slowed at a light, and my stomach reminded me why I had asked to stop here.
There was a famous raw beef restaurant in this neighborhood, run by a doctor known for using fresh ingredients. I had seen the news about food poisoning risks from older raw fish, but I figured a place with that kind of reputation was safe enough. I ordered the beef tartare rice bowl, the one that came with both soy sauce and hot pepper paste. I never got tired of it.
Once I started eating, I just kept going. The soy sauce version and the gochujang version were completely different experiences, and I liked having both. The driver glanced at me in the rearview mirror. “You eat here often?
”
“Whenever I’m in the area,” I said. “The raw fish is good too. I tried ishigaki this year for the first time, and the bones were soft, like cartilage. I thought I knew raw fish, but that was something else.
”
He nodded and turned back to the road. I thought about the last time I had good mulhoe, that cold raw fish soup, when a few of us went to Incheon and ate by the sea. That was during the trip where we built the sandcastle. The memory made me want to eat something warm tonight, maybe something with ssamjang and minced garlic mixed into rice.
I could already taste it. The car moved forward again. I remembered a message I had gotten earlier from a female streamer who had quit but might come back this winter. I had congratulated her on her birthday, and she said she might return.
I told her we should do a broadcast together when she came back, and she laughed and said we would have to. She was young, but she had been in the rankings last time. Still, winter was only four or five months away, and I wondered if I would even still be around by then. I had been reaching out to people, trying to keep connections alive, hoping to invite them out with the representative for a meal.
As we approached the restaurant, I spotted a familiar name in the chat. A senior viewer had been quietly watching without typing. I laughed to myself. “He appears without saying anything,” I said to no one in particular.
“Come on, say something at least. ”
The taxi pulled up near the butcher shop. I paid and thanked the driver, telling him to drive safely. The evening rain was supposed to come after six, and I still needed to buy an umbrella.
I came here by subway, and I was planning to take it home, so I would need to stay dry. The restaurant was busy for a weekend afternoon. I found a spot and sat down, ordering the same thing I always did: the Yookbi rice bowl. The owner brought it out quickly.
I mixed the raw beef and egg yolk into the warm rice, and the smell hit me immediately. The gochujang version was completely different from the soy sauce one. This was on another level. The meat was so fresh, and the texture was perfect.
I ate fast because I still had to get to the studio by five. I had about twenty minutes to eat before I needed to leave. Some viewers commented about my pace, and I laughed. “I know I’m eating like a wolf,” I said.
“But I’m on a deadline. I’ll be on the boss’s broadcast later. ”
I switched between the two sauces, dipping the beef first in one and then the other. The owner came by to check on me, and I told him the food was excellent.
I even mentioned that maybe I should bring one of the senior streamers here to try the gukbap, the soup rice, since he was known for finding good places. That would be a fun content piece. The rain outside started to fall lightly, and I thought about my balcony at home. I had left chairs out there, and they were probably soaked.
Last night’s storm was so loud that I could hear it even while I was broadcasting. I had almost thought the sound was a waterfall. I would have to throw the chairs away now, and my clothes rack had rusted because the window only opened halfway. I had left it in the rain.
I would have to deal with that later. I checked the time again. Almost four. I needed to go soon.
A viewer asked about my future car plans. I had been talking about it a lot lately. I wanted a Tucson. I had been comparing options, and I was leaning toward a lease because it felt like paying rent rather than dropping a big chunk of money all at once.
Thirteen months, sixty thousand won a month, and I could return it after a year. A used car would require paying everything upfront, and I was nervous about losing a big sum of money at once. I needed to decide before December. If the new car arrived, it would open up more possibilities.
I could do drive broadcasts, which always did well. I just had to be careful not to drive dangerously on air. The rain picked up, and I ordered a second portion of the beef. The owner brought it out, and I dug in again.
The viewers joked with me in the chat, and I laughed along. “I’m going to be late, but this is worth it,” I said. By the time I finished, the rain was steady. I paid, thanked the owner, and stepped outside.
I bought an umbrella from a small shop nearby. I checked the time. Still enough to catch the subway if I hurried. I sent a quick message to the senior streamer I had been meaning to ask about next Saturday’s event.
I told him I would be there, and I asked him to please not fail me. I needed a good result. I had been practicing for the cosplay competition, and I only needed to do well for about twenty minutes. I had already failed once, and I did not want that to happen again.
The subway was crowded on a Saturday afternoon, but I found a spot near the door. I held my umbrella and thought about the rest of the day. The boss’s broadcast was waiting. The cosplay event was waiting.
I had to give it everything I had. I stepped off the train and walked toward the studio, the rain tapping against my umbrella. I was ready.